Went for chalet organised by yufeng.. dunno what group is that.. haha

Joy, me, zhaocheng, Robson and yufeng.. 2 years ago I just met Robson and Zhaocheng in CSC camp.. haha and didnt know that till now our friendship is still as  close..

I like those days we do the physics online assignment together.. studying together.. haha.. going for ZOI outings.. yes I miss zOI.. haha..miss going to bukit timah hill turning out everyone still sleeping on bed.. hahahhaa..

The chalet was a celebration for Joy, zhaocheng and Cheekin bday.. but Cheekin wasn't here. So we celebrate for Joy and Zhaocheng.. haha

Joy and I met at Pasir Ris MRT station.. and at a bus stop near by we waited for a bus stop.. at the busstop was a fat guy and his gang..

The fat guy is so attention sicking.. haha Joy and I just cannot stand.. but anyway tthere we waited.. and waited..

And we overheard their conversation that they had waited for 1 and a half hour.. oh man..

after one h!! a bus came.. and the driver said.. No more service till 7.15pm... urgh!! end up Joy and I walked to the chalet...

We passed by Pasir Ris Park.. and Wild Wild Wet.. Pasir Ris park.. some memories came back to me.. but .. it was a nice weather.. windy.. nice to just walk.. and chat.. Wild wild wet.. reminds me of the zoi outing.. I miss those days..

when we reached the chalet.. saw Robson sitting there.. I looked at Robson.. haha didnt know what to say.. haha.. but not a while later we went outside to eat.. ..

Joy wanted to have zhu chao.. so we search.. and walk... haha.. anyhow board a bus.. and end up in some niao bu sheng dan place.. hahaha.. so in the end we took taxi.. to changi village..

We ordered.. steam osyter with egg.. big big prawn.. vegi.. gong gong.. (i like gong gong!) stingray.. did I miss out anything? haha.. anyway in short a sea food meal..

 I like the meal!! though a bit chili!! hee.. i like the steamed osyter with egg most.. robson likes gong gong.. zhaocheng didnt say he like what leh.. joy like stingray i think.. hahahahha.. yufeng also didnt say he likes what..

then we went to 7-11 to get beer.. I personally prefer wine to beer.. haha.. and I saw this magazine on food.. for just 4 dollar with a lot of recipes inside! haha.. I bought it..

i was thinking.. perhaps cooking something for zhaocheng.. haha before he flies off to US.. something from that book.. then stupid Robson says.. wa u so evil.. wants to kill all of us.. hahaha..

oh.. i need to go off to cheryl's chalet.. shld take a good rest.. to be continued!! !=P

Poignant memories, futile and wasted..

and coming in a few sms.... I didnt reply.. And it just goes on..

Finally when a sms saying "cannot study".. perhaps as a friend I should just reply him, encourage him to study. Friends? not really, just as someone who has been with him for 2 years.

Yet, when I thought everything was over, and after I replied him, I was affected. It was all my fault.

Memories just came back..

I thought, I was much better, I didnt cry. I just try to study, and cooking nice food, broccoli, ham, potato in clam powder for my mother and me. But it just get worst when I discover that my mother was working 9 to 9pm tonight.

It wasn't the first night she was working 9 to 9, why did I feel so blue?

He sms again, and the attitude was 180 degree different.

Sometimes I wonder, how does one walk away, from all the memories? How does one can change so much within 2 years? or perhaps, he had always been like that, just that I was blinded or discovered it only now.

"Sometimes to someone, perhaps there is love, but it has come to a point that it is really too tiring to continue, if there is a new beginning, well it will not be love yet coz it is early stage, but why not? "

In the past I used not to understand those people who broke up and got attached again within months. However, now I understand. I used not to understand people, who are so tired of all these stuffs, now I understand.

To have ur emotions dependent on a guy, to give up things for a guy, putting him as higher priority than yourself, and what do u get? tears perhaps.

In the end I cried again. But this shall be the last time. I looked into the mirror, my hairstyle changed, but suddenly I seem to saw the old me in it. No!!! It is a total new beginning!

In the end my mle went into my brain at a very slow rate. !!! the way i felt I am having no life makes me feel so sad!!! BUT it is going to be over soon!! I must jia you!!  

oh no.. I have been slacking..... slacking...

the notes are right in front of me.. but nothing seems to go into my head.. My eyes are tired.. I dun wan to think.. but i just physically unable to sleep.. AND for the past dunno how many hours.. i stare at the notes.. with nothing going into my head..

I was so unhappy with myself for not being able to manage my time well in exam! it is NOT the first time I do not have enough time for the paper..

so tired..

I see there are people who are really so powerful.. like no need rest de.. now studying le...

WHY!! where did their energy come from??

perhaps I need to eat more and more and more for the ENERGY!

OH... switerland... Canada......... getting the strawberries from the fields.. .. oh............. why they seem so far away.. dun study hard.. where have good jobs? no good jobs.. maybe need to suffer.. how to go my dreamland and find my dream house? .. sigh... those lifestyle seem so far away............. even good studies also doesnt mean anything.. so many chem engineers around.. sigh..

when will I meet my Mr Charming?? .. who will be there to console me or encourage me at times like this... urgh... but then again.. nan ren is so bu ke kao... so scary..

sigh.... future seems to be so blur................... 

I lost touch of A so so SO long ago..................

.........

I feel so happy!! 2 of my papers done.. now left with 3...

Never feel so relax and being myself during exam.. (relax doesnt mean I will get good results la..) for I am in chem engine.. A course where people will say.. "oh man i didnt get full marks" YES full marks NOT in a primary school I am in university now... crazy right?

Perhaps I have to tune myself to that kind of thinking, to score and be good. AND BEING one of THEM. I am changing, from not attending lectures to attending, from not asking questions to asking..

Hahahaha.. but no matter what.. it is just about doing my best la.. hahaha

I like exam period.. especially the kind of encouragement I get from friends.. like ruijie.. lisa.. zhaocheng.. cheryl.. cheekin.. so on.. So happy like everyone "suffer" together.. or getting it done together..haha

AND I must get myself real crazy in the holidays!!! I have already think of the things I shall do!!! SHOP SHOP AND SHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha.. AND EAT .. AND COOK!!!! hahha

the first few days of my holidays are already planned.. going to yufeng's special arrangement of a chalet.. hahaha then to Cheryl's bday party.. then to Boon Teck's bday party.. on the 10th I will shop with yanru to get beads to make accessories.. hee!!!! oh man.. when can I shop bugis?? vivo?? Shopping with Ruijie, Lisa,  Cheryl..is a MUST Thing!!! hahahahaha..

SO looking forward to the holidays.. Next sem I going to do IA.. at ICES.. hahaha!!! I going to make a list of stuffs, one to buy for every month after i get my pay!!!  FInally a break from studies.. AND I going to take up some courses.. MUST MUST MUST!!! hee!!

oh man.. I am already going to be 21.................. feel so old........=(

Haha.. I was reading yanru's blog.. and She wrote a summary on her past sems.. reminds me that half of my uni life is gone!!!

haha.. perhaps I shld summarise my past 2 years too.. hahaha

Sem 1: 

Happiest sem ever.. almost all the things covered are jc stuffs, so I slack and slack and slack.. hahaha.. pon all the lectures, thanks to Charles who "influence" me to pon.. hahaha (yanru dun worry u are not the only one) haha lab reports with senior's as reference.. (thanks to yc) hahaha.. studying with Zoi.. competiting with who sleep later.. (now to think of it that was dumb and not healthy!! hahaha) (and Robson!! still own me drinks!! ) hahahaha.. and then chatting with Zhaocheng on msn at times.. hahaha to keep myself awake.. doing the stupid physics online assignment.. It ended nicely with me going India with Skie.. knowing more friends.. I miss those "temple" seasons in India.. hahhaha where we gather and chat throughout the night..  

Sem 2:

I become relax as though i pon so much.. results turn to be ok.. hahaa so I was quite slack.. hahahahha.. And I took 2 sartors.. u know.. business modules.. hahaha.. I love the business law though.. learn a lot.. that was the only module I didnt pon.. hahah.. and oh.. CEP?? Chemical Engineering Principles.. I was struggling about it.. but becoz of the slacking mood... didnt really do much.. hahaha.. remember the times that I always loiter at Bugis.. or Tampines with C.. hahaha.. .. And the results turn out still just fine... .. without slapping me for too slack..

Sem 3:

Sem 3 is crazy!!! Fluid mecs.. thermo!! I feel so so SO stresss.. but thanks to C who is by my side.. encouraging me.. I try try try my best.. "separation" is just not my cup of tea... so is Fluid mecs and thermo...AND organic CHEM that need memorising after getting used to open book for the past few sems..  ANd after being relaxed for so Long..... .. so a drastic drop in my grades that set me to really reflect..

Sem 4:

I starting to feel the sense of urgency.. and the sense of seriousness... slap myself.. for waking up only in SEM 4 and after a drastic fall.. I deserve that.. yesh.. for all those phone calls n msn.. n MAPLE story.. SO I force myself to study.. It was so tiring..Almost every min I am doing something.. haha.. I study at the library more than ever.. seeing Lisa.. Shihao.. Wanyun.. haha.. and many other chem engine friends there.. and Cheekin also.. hahahah.. at times I study at ngee ang poly.. (coz the place nearer to my house) .. with Lynn and her friends.. but strangely.. I just have the sleepy mood over ngee ang poly.. hahaha.. so I prefer getting back to NUS to study.. Kinetics is crazy.. AND anything that is closed book seems crazy to me.. perhaps I getting older.. brain becomes rusty.. hahahaahahaha

Sem 5: (this sem!!! )

Hahaha!! finally  I follow my resolution that was set so so SO long ago.. To attend ALL the lectures.. NO webcasting.. and finally I really did that.. hahahhaha. .thanks to the timetable too.. for putting all the lectures in one day.. (so end up our tests are on consequent days.. (almost all same day)) hahaha.. and because of being "locked" in LT6 the whole day.. I got to know a lot more chem engine friends.. Plus now tutorial is no longer according to classes.. Life is fun.. when u get to know more pple.. but life is still super stressful!! everyday I am like a machine clearing work.. everyday... .. And with our dear stats lecturer who manage to finished 14 chapters within a month.. and A mini project and a term paper dump to us at the quite last few moments of the sem..

ok now is exam period.. I shld really get on to study!!

An entry from my friend's blog... ..

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

Although having so much work, it is always a relief for me by cooking a simple lunch or dinner. Haha, I discover a fast way to cook instant noodles without myself having to pay much attention to it. (count me as slow in technology) I put the instant noodles, and some vege, and an egg, and some fishball, into a big Japanese like bowl, covering it with the plastic wrapper and putting into the microwave, after 4mins of Hi heating, "ding!" It is done!!  Hot and nice, the noodles are just nice, not too soft, while still have the elasticity (oh elasticity!! I have been studying material science.. .Elasticity stress=E*strain.. urgh... ) However, the flaw is about the egg, what's left is just the egg yolk, the egg white has mixed with the soup, giving the soup a nice look, but a bit wasted because I am putting MSG powder into the soup, and don't really intend to drink the soup. Haha, but everything is edible. (I am a easily satisfied person, especially at such rush hour)

At night, I decide to give myself a break, before my brain explodes, I opened the fridge door, only to see potatos, big apples, and some vege which I don't feel like eating. SO I decided to make the simplest form of salad. (the arts canteen) Just Potatos and apples and some bacon chips. I know it will taste much better if I add in egg and nuts. But miserably I had the last egg that was found in my house this afternoon and the nuts are all finished as tibits during my studying.

Slicing.. Slicing.. mixing.. mixing.. eating  eating..

What will I be eating if I were in school? Perhaps some grab from Mac.. and the french fries that turn so hard and dull when cold. Or perhaps a blueberry muffin from delis.. haha or with better luck, perhaps yanru's bf will get us some nice food. hahaha

so today I am staying at home again... .....

exam is really coming soon, the sem is ending.. "wake me up when september ends" .. my labtop was playing.. I remembered I got this song last year.. Time really flies.. And I started to think that one day I will no longer be pampered, one day I have to take up responsibility of the whole family.. one day I have to be a mother perhaps..

being a daughter is nice.. no worries.. Then I asked my mother.. "can I don't grow up? "... Can I? Such a silly question.. I wonder how my mother felt.. from being a daughter..to a grown up.. and to.. being a mother herself.. seeing her daughter so old le.. haha.. will she ever think that.. perhaps by not marrying.. life is much better? less worries.. less financial burden.. less commitment.. can go where ever she wants.. can spend when she wants to.. She said.. " it is going to be lonely if u dun marry.. " LONELY? as the reason... ....?

Treasure the remaining happy days man. Student life is still the best life.. =P 

I think I am falling in love with my friends' blog..

I just read Ruijie's blog.. I was so amazed by the story of the little bird...

A lot of times.. certain happiness just came by.. and ended.. in a short period of time...

Just like the little bird bringing in that kind of happiness..

really sets me thinking.. how I wish one bird fly into my house too!! hahahaha

Then I read Kenneth's blog.. I like his style of writing.. He is in overseas.. and the description.. is so great.. I wish I have the lifestyle he is having now..

Then I come upon this entry..talking about.. We may subconsiously know how our future will be.. and subconsiously doing things that have led to the future.. or doing things that seem to be able to predict the future..

I did come across such incidents.. or such situations.. And when things turn out to be that way.. I didn't know how I got to react and seem to know what was going to happen..

To think about it, it is so scary.. But I do believe in fate.. and predestiny.. I won't want to think that.. so whatever turns out to be is ur actions to be blamed.. but I do agree that.. somehow perhaps.. we know.. ..

haha.. anyway.. I wish I can live the way he is living now.. the independence.. maturity.. meeting new people all around the world everyday.. seeing and experiencing the world.. It is just so great.. but the lifestyle.. seems so far away.. ><

In front of me are 1 can of coffee and 1 cup of tea, haha..

Studying MLE... makes me going crazy very soon!! so many things  to memorise..

I didnt go school today. Reason? I just don't want to wonder here wonder there.. At home, it is quiet.. quiet..

Oh man, please be over very very soon. I have to force myself to study for the sake of the results ...

Why do I care if it is thermoset or thermoplasts man..

Can I squeeze so much things into my small physical brain?

Urgh! stop crapping and study!

Wake up at 5am.. but not much energy.. continue sleeping..

It is a NEW beginning.. I have a haircut. and this time is really short. much shorter.. I look very different..perhaps I will dye my hair someday..

The long straight hair vivi is gone..

The curly long hair vivi is also gone...

Now is Short curly hair vivi..

haha sounds like sec school days.. no no not the mushroom head.. hahahaha

I feel that I am me again.. for the past 2 years I dun seem to be myself. M i? long straight hair....... was a hairstyle I always look forward to since young.. coz I have natural curl..

but somehow  long straight hair vivi is so tired... ... very very tired..

Now short curly hair vivi is back.. hahahaha!!

ok enough crap..  study lal!!!! today I went for interview.. for a project on process control and matlab.. at ICES.. saw jia quan at clementi mrt station.. hahaha